Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize