wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize