I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
