my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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