you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize