girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
