I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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