He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
