I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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