i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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