I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
id be glad to
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you didnt know i had herpes?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
