hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
