areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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