Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
