I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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