well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
