The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
