Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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