She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize