Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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