OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Welp...herpes.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Everyone says I win the strip club
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
