dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize