I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
