My liver just broke up with me...
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Randomize
