How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
