Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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