I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize