Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
