Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
