we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
