It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize