Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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