He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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