I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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