You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
