My brain says no but my pants say off.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
