he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
