I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
