Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
