I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
