Well douche your snatch and let's go!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
