perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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