I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
