You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You pole danced in your parka.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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