you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
