Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
