Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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