Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
