ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize