it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
