If i come over, it means nothing
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
