Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
