i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize