I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
