So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
