So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
