Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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